Am I a Tiger Mom?

    It is a constant battle. Am I a tiger mom?  Am I pushing them enough? Do I really use every opportunity for education?

    Okay, the answer to the last question is, of course not.

     There was a time when the television was never on in this house. There was a time when my children had never played a video game.

    I have relaxed. A lot.  We now have a Wii, but all of the games we have require activity. Both children also have a DS, but the games are all education related. (Big Braid Academy, Flash Focus, Brain Age, My Personal Math Tutor,.. you get the idea.)

    For the most part, my children are naturally attracted to learning. This means that as often as they chose the latest animated film to watch on TV, they are watching Animal Planet or Discovery Channel. They are fascinated by the world around them.

     In the local schools, the summer break is so long and when they were younger, I scheduled educational activities throughout the summer. My children only went to museums, zoos and other outings, not laser tag, arcades or other things. We worked on reading, did extra science experiments, kept journals of insects and birds and other things during the summer.

     Now, they are older. I am working on giving them their "wings". I want them to be able to make their own choices and watch for signs that they will chose arcades and candy constantly.

    It is part of growing up. If I police every single thing they do until they leave for college, they will not have the practice or experience making good choices.

    The hardest part is watching them make not so great choices. Chocolate cake for breakfast? Okay, let's see how you feel in an hour. You want to use your birthday money at the arcade instead of going to the bookstore?  Okay....

     Watching the devastation of a child who realizes that $20 lasted for about 14 minutes at the local amusement park is hard. Yes, now she knows that going to the bookstore would have been a better choice. She had wanted the artists set and a new book. She could have easily purchased both at the book store where we shop. She is miserable now. She has nothing to show for that 14 minutes. One photo of her bouncing on a ride. She is sad.

    I do not like those moments or days. I know I could have steered her toward what seemed the less attractive choice. I could have listened to her whine about how it looks so fun. I could have then repeated the battle every time she asked. Instead, she is experiencing this misery herself. It is not her mom that caused this misery. Her mom that just wont allow her to do anything thing really fun. It is the choice itself. She gets it now.

     The very next time she had money, she asked to go to the book store. I didn't poke at her. I didn't ask with a smirk, "Are you sure you don't want to go back to the fun park?" No, I smiled on the inside. She is learning that life is filled with choices. She now knows why we rarely go to the fun parks. She knows that I can turn that same money into a lot of fun activities that will last longer. She knows that most of those activities leave her feeling a little better about things.

     This summer, we do not have very many things scheduled. My oldest child wants to be a veterinarian. Her desire has been the same for years. This summer, we talked about what she would like to do. She wants to learn different methods of tie dye and screen printing T-shirts. She wants to do hands on animal dissections. She wants to do three different summer reading programs. She also wants to continue with her guitar and piano lessons.

     That sounds great to me. I have already located the supplies for the dissections and created worksheets so that they can be performed properly and with the maximum educational benefit. I discussed with her that we would not be wasting these creatures. If she wants to do this, she must do it correctly. She must learn as much as she can from it as this creature died for her education.

    We must take responsibility for all of the costs of our children's education. Some may think it is just a worm, or a frog, or a starfish. Taking things for granted is not a positive trait. That attitude has caused enough harm to our planet. If she is to be a vet, I would like her to be the most responsible vet that she can be. I also would like her to know about as many choices, solutions and alternatives as she can. That will make her the vet that people rave about.

     Ahhh... the little one would like to continue with piano lessons, learn to make a few instruments, make T-shirts and go to the park to collect insect specimens for fall. She has several technical books about insects and is planning an insect guide of her own for our area. Good for her. She will get to use her artistic skills, she will look up information and put it into her own words. She will love every minute of this. She is a very advanced student so even though she is only ten, she will also do six dissections this year, with the same worksheets as her sister.

      I don't know where I fit in anymore. We have chosen not to super accelerate the younger child even though she could easily skip through a grade or two. It just doesn't seem to be the right choice for her. She does not need to graduate high school at the age of 13 or 14. She actually may need more time to mature before continuing to college. This also gives us the opportunity to do these extra projects and keep her involved in clubs and sports.

     We constantly are reevaluating our choices for our children. This may all change next year. We may have a completely different plan. Maybe next year, the youngest child will need to accelerate again. We don't know. We can only make the best decision for right now.

     This Friday, we are planning to watch a movie and have popcorn. I don't think I am a tiger mom.